dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
