Whod you bang
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Randomize
