Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
