whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
