I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize