Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Terrible idea I love it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
