I hate all girls vehemently.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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