she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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