WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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