Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
