He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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