i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
