We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
