oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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