i barfeds in our rink
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
