I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
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this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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