O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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