fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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