why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
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Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
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It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I want is dick and wine.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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