brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
