Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
