Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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