i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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