well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sext me about skeletons
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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