It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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