Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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