I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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