make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
