what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
