11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
