As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
