can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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