pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
