I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
