If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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