me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My bed smells like the plague
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
