I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
