Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
