I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
