just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
