She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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