You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize