I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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