why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
