There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
