I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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