kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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