thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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