3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
