I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I enjoy the company of your penis
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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