Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
