this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
