I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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