I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
