Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
