I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
