I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
